The George W Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages. You'll want to be the first at your major corporation to make a contribution to this great man's legacy.
So far, the library will include:
The Supreme Court Appreciation Room for their “supreme” wisdom in deciding to elect George Bush as President in spite of the actual voting results.
The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.
The Presidential Awards Room in an Alice in Wonderland motif. If you really mess up, you receive a Presidential Medal of Freedom, Patriots Award or a Presidential Pat on the Back: George Tenet, Paul Bremer, Paul Wolfowitz, “Good Job, Brownie.”
The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you can't remember anything.
The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't even have to show up.
The 9/11 Room where you hear the FBI phone recordings saying “They’re taking flying lessons and don‘t want to learn how to land?” “So what?
The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room (which no one has been able to find).
The Osama Bin Laden Room (also not found.)
The Iraq War Room. After you complete your first tour, they make you to go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth tours.
The USS Abraham Lincoln Flight Deck mock up with a wax figure of President Bush at the microphone and the “Mission Accomplished” Banner.
The Walter Reed Hospital Dormitory Room--so much mold, they don't let you in.
The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.
The Extraordinary Rendition Room where the “water boarding” torture is explained and demonstrated.
The Magna Carta Room showing the Right of Habeas Corpus scratched out.
The FISA Room with hourly phone tapping lessons.
The Dick Cheney Wing, in the famous undisclosed location, complete with Shooting Gallery, Valerie Plame Outing Closet and the Cheney “blind” trust Haliburton Profits Counting Annex. Special fireproofing will be provided.
The Supreme Court Nominee Vetting Room reenactments: Repeat after me: “Business can do no wrong. Business can do no wrong. Business can do no wrong.” “Lay them off just before retirement? Just good business.” Pay women the same as men? Why?” “I am not a judicial activist--I will only interpret the Constitution.”
Plans also include: The K-Street Project Gift Shop - where you can buy a large tax break if you are in the oil business or really, any big business.
To highlight the President's accomplishments, the museum will have electron microscopes to help you locate them. This library will be unconventional in that it will have no books.
When asked, President Bush said that he didn't care so much about the individual exhibits as long as his museum was better than his father's.
Obliged to you for hearing me, and now old Sojourner('s Place) ain't got nothing more to say.
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