Sojourner's Place

the guide to palinguage vols 1 & 2  

Posted by SjP in ,

This post was blatantly lifted from On the Black Hand Side who blatantly lifted it from That Minority Thing. It is just too good not to post here at SjP'S


PALINGUAGE GUIDE VOL. #1



If you’re a minority and you’re selected for a job over more qualified candidates you’re a “token hire.” If you’re a conservative and you’re selected for a job over more qualified candidates you’re a “game changer.”


If you live in an urban area and you get a girl pregnant you’re a “baby daddy.” If you’re the same in Alaska you’re a “teen father.” (Actually, according to your own MySpace page you’re an F’n redneck that don’t want any kids, but that’s too long a phrase for the evil liberal media to take out of context and flog morning noon and night).


Black teen pregnancies? A “crisis” in black America. White teen pregnancies? A “blessed event.”


If you grow up in Hawaii you’re “exotic.” Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you’re the quintessential “American story.”


Similarly, if you name your kid Barack you’re “unpatriotic.” Name your kid Track, you’re “colorful.”


If you’re a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the individual you’re “reckless.” A Republican who doesn’t fully vet is a “maverick.”


If you say that for the “first time in my adult lifetime I’m really proud of my country” it makes you “unfit” to be First Lady. If you are a registered member of a fringe political group that advocates secession that makes you “First Dude.”


A speech given without proper citation from twenty years ago is “relevant information.” A DUI from twenty years ago is “old news.”


If you’re a man and you decide to run for office despite your wife’s reoccurrence of cancer you’re a “questionable spouse.” If you’re a woman and you decide to run for office despite having five kids including a newborn with Downs Syndrome… Well, we don’t know what that is ‘cause THAT’S NOT A FAIR QUESTION TO ASK!


PALINGUAGE GUIDE VOL. #1


If you get 18 million people to vote for you in a national presidential primary, you’re a “phony.” Get 100,000+ people to vote you governor of the 47th most populous state in the Union, you’re “well loved.”


If you are biracial and born in a state not connected to the lower 48, America needs darn near 2 years and 3 major speeches to “get to know you.” If you’re white and from a state not connected to the lower 48, America needs 36 minutes and 38 seconds worth of an acceptance speech to know you’re “one of us.”


If you give your wife a dap on stage, it’s actually a “terrorist fist jab.” If your daughter licks her palm so that she can slick down your youngest child’s hair on national TV it’s an “adorable moment.” (Seriously, forget about abstinence only, teach these folks some grooming skills).


If your pastor rails against inequality in the United States of America, you’re an “extremist.” If your pastor welcomes a sermon by a member of Jews for Jesus who preaches that the killing of Jews by terrorists is a lesson to Jews that they must convert to Christianity, you’re a “fundamentalist.”


If you’re a black man and you use a scholarship to get into college, then work your way up to being the president of the Harvard Law Review, you’re “uppity.”If you’re a conservative and your parents pay your way to Hawaii Pacific University . . . you only have four more schools to attend over the next five years before you somehow manage to graduate (it might be five more schools over the next five years. No one has yet verified whether or not Palin was actually ever registered at the University of Hawaii at Hilo. But, you know how shady people are who ever attended any kind of school in Hawaii).


If you’re 18, black, and impregnate a 16 year old girl, you’re a “registered sex offender.”If you’re 18, white, and get a 16 year old girl pregnant “life happens.”


If you spend 18 months building a campaign around the theme of “Change,” it’s just “empty rhetoric.” If one week before your party’s national convention you SUDDENLY make your candidacy about “Change,” that’s “red meat.”


And lastly: If you are a Democrat, an Independent, or even a moderate Republican, if you’re female, male, white, black, Asian, Hispanic, bi-racial, multi-ethnic, or GLBT, if you’re a Jew, Gentile, Muslim, agnostic or atheist - “Yes, we can!” If you’re a pitbull with lipstick from Alaska, “Yup, yup!”


Speak the Truth!

Obliged to you for hearing me, and now old SjP ain't got nothing more to say.

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This entry was posted at Saturday, September 13, 2008 and is filed under , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the .

6 sojourners hollin' back

Lol, thanks for the translation, I didnt know what the hell she was talking about.

September 13, 2008 at 2:25 PM

HaHa!!!!
I can't wait to read the rest of the volumes in this guide!

September 13, 2008 at 10:36 PM

Like your thought. If you have time, please review my thought and my dreaming. There are about differences, night worker ladies, mother and child, from my life experience.
Sincerely,
love ely

September 13, 2008 at 11:25 PM

I lifted the post as well...it was too good to not share with as many folk as possible

September 14, 2008 at 12:20 PM

I am a Jewish believer in Jesus. Here is a direct quote from David Brickner regarding his remarks at Sarah Palin's church: "The comments attributed to me were taken out of context. The notion that the terrorist, bulldozer attack in Jerusalem this summer was God’s judgment on Israel for not believing in Jesus, is absolutely not what I believe. In retrospect, I can see how my rhetoric might be misunderstood and I truly regret that. Of course I never expected the kind of magnifying glass scrutiny on a message where I was speaking extemporaneously. Let me be clear. I don’t believe that any one event whether a terrorist attack or a natural disaster is a specific fulfillment of or manifestation of a Biblical prediction of judgment. I don’t believe that the newspaper should be used to interpret the Bible. The Bible interprets the Bible. I love my Jewish people and the land of Israel. I stand with and support her against all efforts to harm her or her people in any way. Please feel free to read my further explanations on the front page of our website, both in my article and in the interviews I did with Christianity Today and NBC." The website is www.jewsforjesus.org

September 15, 2008 at 12:40 PM

@ Clnmike - I hear you! Me too!

@ Regina - come back by tomorrow where I'll be posting more translations received today (Monday). Some are repeats but all are just as good!

@ Love Ly - much obliged for stopping by SjP's. I swooped by your spot and am sure I'll return. Don't be a stranger - the doors are alway open here.

@ messianicmatt - much obliged to you, too for stopping by. I hope you'll come back again and again. I was unaware of Brickney or his sermon prior to your comment here. Did some searching to see if I could find the entire reference quote. Althought I did not listen to the entire sermon provided on your site, I did find a paragraph of the statement in question. All I can say is that Brickney seemed to be saying something akin to "chickens coming home to roost". Where have I heard that before?

September 15, 2008 at 9:51 PM
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